hell yes lets make some ravioli
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
