Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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