I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
