He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize