Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
