id be glad to
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
