It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize