How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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