At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
