Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
