I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
