That's when you crack a 10am beer
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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