we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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