My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
