just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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