We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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