Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
