I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
