i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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