Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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