why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
