I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
only if we run a train.
done.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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