I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize