what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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