Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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