How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
