Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
