i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
