the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize