I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
It's just like the Real World with babies
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
