This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
do herpes really smell.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
