We're facebook friends in real life
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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