put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize