just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
