was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
