if i can run in heels then i can drive
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
