I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
