drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I could make wine with my vomit
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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