Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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