If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
did you just send me my own nude
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
