i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
