Your tits are I can't wait for
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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