Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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