just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
