i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
