Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
