I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
