My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
