i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
