Yo dont text me then not text me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
