I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize