I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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