WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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