The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sext me about skeletons
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
