If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
