her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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