So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
