We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
