the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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