I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
