great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
