I wanna bring you to show and tell
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize