I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize