she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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