Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How does one acquire holy water?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
