Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
