The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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