Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
