1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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