he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
