Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
