The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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