Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
