Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
