I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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