I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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