I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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