It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
